Feminazi Ghostbusters suck!

Recently I made the mistake of going to see this remake of what was one of the modern world’s classic cult obsessions. I saw this movie, having only seen the Trailer. I went in with an open mind, sat down with my popcorn and Choc Top and waited to see what they had managed with the remake of this cult classic.

As a child in the 90’s I grew up watching Ghostbusters, and although I was never as engrossed with this as I was with Star Wars or Indiana Jones, I still hold it in high regard as a classic movie. I wanted to like this movie. Reboots are normally fairly average, however I don’t think anything could prepare me for what I was about to see.

Unfortunately this blight on Chris Hemsworth’s career has led me to question everything I knew about Cinema, in the worst way possible.

The Best

The pre-movie entertainment – Seriously.
I got more laughs from the pre-movie advertisements and trailers than the actual movie that I paid to go and see. I mean, those Telstra ads, acted by the Telstra Employees – That’s some cringe shit.

The Good

 Supplied with a terrible script, terrible plot, bad editing and just downright offensive directing Chris Hemsworth was easily the best part of this “film” although I am not sure that it deserves the title. Chris managed to turn some rotten lines into bearable conversation. He was made out to be a stupid dumb clumsy piece of “eye candy” – just like every other man in the movie he was a blithering idiot. He played the character well. Shitty character, but well acted.

MELISSA MCCARTHY MEMEMelissa McCarthy was constantly eating. Let’s face it – it was probably part of her contract that she had to have food supplied to her constantly. I mean she even got two assistants, while the rest of the leading cast only got one! I like to think it was playing to the fact that she is an overweight disgusting unfunny idiot.

That’s about it – I cannot think of anything else good!

The Bad

I still don’t really know what the whole premise of the story was – apart from showing “Woman-Power” by shooting the reincarnation of the original Ghost from the original Ghostbusters logo in the dick. Yep. That happened. Good one.

They literally told us early on in the movie that their Photon guns held the ghosts, and that you needed containment equipment to hold said ghosts. Later on in the same movie, they actually shot Ghost after Ghost with the same weapons, which just somehow killed them. I mean – They set up the rules, and then broke their own rules. They LITERALLY contradicted themselves.

When the main “heroes” worked out that they were up against something serious due to Ley Lines, they somehow just knew that it was a male that was causing all this trouble. Only a man could be such an asshole to want to destroy the world. We better go shoot him in the dick.

They literally cause the death of men twice and are just like “Yeah okay, that shit smells weird”… like.. What!? “Oh its okay it’s just a stupid man, that doesn’t matter”.

Leslie Jones – she sucks. It’s like she decided “I’m going to play the cliche independent Black woman. I’m surprised she wasn’t eating watermelon and fried chicken the whole movie. Oh, that and getting shot by Cops. Too soon?

The Ghostbusters check out their YouTube comments and quote direct comments from the most disliked movie trailer ever. Somehow the writers felt that this would kick the haters in the balls, but all it ended up doing was show how much the comments really got to them, and validated the work of the trolls.

All in all, this movie was a terrible movie – It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t good to watch, it had no continuity, it was not clever, it had some terrible unenthusiastic cameos that were obviously only there because the original Ghostbusters still wanted royalties, and worst of all – the whole concept, plot and script, was incoherent and not Ghostbusters.

Some movies I have seen recently could have been good movies if they were not the movie they were marketed as. By that I mean if The Italian Job (2003) had not been named The Italian Job, after the original Italian Job (1969) it would have been a much better movie. It could have been called something completely different, which would have separated it from the original movie, while still having the grassroots references back to the original with the Mini Coopers and stuff while also not trying to be something that it was not.

Ghostbusters was not one of these movies. It would have made more sense if it was called Feminazi Squad or something ridiculous like that, but it still would have been a hopeless terrible excuse for a cinematic experience.

Don’t pay to see this. Pirate it if you have to, and be prepared to be legitimately offended by it. Unless you are a Progressive Feminist in which case you will probably love it! You people are into to anything as long as it bashes men right?

I wouldn’t recommend wasting your time.

 

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